Realizing a new fear...

So, I never realized it before, but I have a real fear of going to the gym alone. More specifically, for taking a class on my own. I have no issue going to workout on the machines alone, but for some reason, I just can't bring myself to go to a class without having a workout partner. What is wrong with me? There is a kickboxing class tonight that I really want to try, but most likely won't go unless I can get someone to go with.

On the up side, I have been exercising a lot more lately, both at home and at the gym. I'm down a few lbs already. My goal is to be back to a normal weight by March of 2011. That way I can really start shopping for dresses. Have I mentioned my little sister got engaged? I'm so incredibly excited for her. She is marrying her baby's daddy in Oct 2011...lol...I hate that phrase, but had to use it. Anyway, so my goal is to be fit and healthy and happy before her wedding. I think I'm well on my way. My eating has been better, but I still crave burgers and fries. I need to find healthier options that are just as yummy as the fast food. Please feel free to share in a comment if you have some ideas.

So, that's about it for now. Lots of changes happening, but I still feel the same. Maybe once I start dropping sizes I'll begin to feel better about myself.

Blast from my past...

So, last night I was out with some friends, celebrating one of their birthdays, and I ran into the brother of one of my ex-boyfriends, whom I haven't seen in years. We were together a very long time, and separated when he broke my heart. I hadn't really thought much about him for a long time, except when people would bring up stories, but I gotta say seeing a member of his family was so odd. It was great to see him all grown up, but it's awful that because of that, I am now thinking of the ex. It took me years to get over what he did to me. Now, it's like the wound is partially open again. Ugh. Maybe it was never really closed. Now I have to heal yet again. This is a vicious cycle that needs to end, now.

Mid Year's Resolution...a little late to be New Year's

I've been overweight for a long time now, but I wasn't always. Until my early 20's I was a pretty normal weight. Bad things happened, and I basically gave up, FOR YEARS. Now, I'm not saying I haven't started a ton of different plans and workout routines to try and fix this. I have tried almost everything. But, I never had the will power to keep any of them up. I'm my own worst enemy...aka self sabotage. Well, a friend yesterday made me see that I don't have to be like this. She helped me see that I'm worth more. And what's more, she is supporting me, no matter how many mistakes I make along the way. That's a true friend. Recently I bought an IPhone and my friend showed me this app called Losing It!. I downloaded it and started the plan yesterday. It's going to be a really tough road. I know it. But, I think I am finally ready to give myself some serious discipline. Yesterday I ate within my calorie range and even did a tough spinning class at Fitworks in Richmond Hts. It was customer appreciation day, so we got to spin outside, which was awesome! Today I decided to work from home and am about to do taebo on my lunch hour. Fingers crossed I can keep this momentum up.

Thank you to my friend for supporting me no matter what. If you can have just one person in your life that's like that, you're a rich person. Here's to healthy weight loss!

My trip to sunny FL

Well, this week has not been exactly what I expected. After arriving in Sarasota, things got a bit awkward when there was a misunderstanding regarding my personality. Then the sunburn came and settled on my lovely shoulders and back. Ugh! And the terrible blisters on my feet from all the sand walking! Ouch! It wasn't all a loss though. A few fun nights of drunken fun happened somewhere in the middle of this trip. And oh, outlet mall...need I say more? I just wish I had packed another suitcase or a few less clothes so I could shop more.

During these 7-8 days, I've not been able to relax like I really wanted and needed. I felt like I needed to hold back a lot, and not be me so I didn't offend anyone anymore. Hard to relax when you constantly have to think about what you're saying and doing. I think my next vacation will be a solo one. Maybe I'm not meant to have bunches of female friends. Life is so much simpler at home with my 2 kitties. Ya, I know how that sounds and I don't care. I'm coming home Lily and Butterscotch. I love you girls!

OMG! Hello Tax Refund!

So, thanks to paying two mortgages in 2009, I received a very nice tax refund. My first item to buy, a new laptop. I decided that since today was my mom's birthday, I would give her my old Toshiba and bought a new Toshiba Satellite E105. This thing is great! And what speed! The only issue I have is trying to get my old printer to install wirelessly. I guess that will be a task for tomorrow since it's almost 11:30 PM. Good night all and Happy Valentine's Day!

Rest In Peace Panda

My cat passed away this past Saturday. He was 16-17 years old. I have been heartbroken since hearing the news. I was not in town when he died, which made it so much worse.

Panda was the coolest cat ever. I know, every pet owner says that, but he really was. Everyone that met him fell in love with him instantly. Even those that hated cats loved him. He was fun, adorable, loving, crazy, and sometimes acted like a human.

I would like to send this message out to the cosmos and tell him that I loved him and he will really be missed. If you knew him, feel free to post your favorite stories on here. I'd love to hear them.

New to Ohio snow?

I live in northeast Ohio. Newsflash: it snows here in the winter. Yesterday we had one heck of a snow storm, yet people were not slowing down. I nearly got hit 3 times while driving the 7-8 miles it takes to get me from work to home. Seriously, it's called a brake, use it properly. Don't slam on it when you suddenly realize you were going 30 mph to make a turn that was sharp to begin with while going through a red light.

This morning I thought, since the roads were cleared, I'd take the freeway in. Maybe I'd avoid the idiots on rt 91 by doing that for a change. Nope. The roads were completely clear, yet I couldn't get above 45 mph because slow drivers were in all 3 lanes. I realize it snowed yesterday, but the roads have all been cleared and salted. There was no need to drive like we were still in a blizzard. Then, some idiot that could barely see out of their fancy sport utility windows, cuts me off as I'm turning onto Alpha.

Many, many, many years ago someone invented this amazing thing that could significantly increase visibility if used properly, or at all. It's called a SNOW BRUSH! Get off your lazy butts, out of your cars while they are warming up, and brush the snow off your car. And if you're too lazy to do that, do us all a favor and stay home and off the roads until it melts on it's own.

Welcome to my world

Welcome to my second published blog. I wanted to start a second blog, because the other is basically just for the trade shows I attend for my job. This one is all mine. I plan on writing about whatever comes to mind, things that bug me, things that I like, random thoughts, events, anything goes. Enjoy!